Alucard The Warden's Ex

[Screenplay] The Off-Topic Spam ACT I SCENE I Shakingsphere Edition

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ACT I

SCENE I

Scene: TWE's Castle In the Off-Topic Wasteland

Enter Pandaman, TWE.

Pandaman.

Terrible news, M'lord.

Many brave lives have been lost to treacherous Kanalumaddela

Our wasteland has been purged yet again.

Our territory has been reduced to merely this castle.

TWE.

Fie upon't, foh!

We fortified the land but, out alas

T'was for nothing.

Gather round our soldiers,

All the trash and filth,

Grab some of the beers,

Make the land of rightful tilth

Tis' a declaration of war,

On yet another formidable foe

To protect the ones I adore

I hereby order thee, now go!

Pandaman.

Yes, M'lord.

Shall I bring young Bill with me?

TWE.

Aye. Give me a taper,

Rouse up all of my people,

We're going to battle.

Gather them all at the castle gates,

We shall reclaim lost honour

And return full of treasure crates.

Enter Onyxfang.

Onyx.

You called, M'lord?

TWE.

Aye.

We're besieged with foes.

Onyx.

Is it Kanal 's army again?

Kanal's army? Pow waw!

Pandaman.

We need to do something about this.

Where's Sir Drazoure?

TWE.

Noble Drazoure is away running an errand for me.

Part of my grand scheme to pursue my vendetta

Brave Drazoure's off to retrieve the key

To settle the score with my old flame

To drive him back to where he came.

Enter Drazoure.

Pandaman.

Speak of the devil!

Drazoure.

I've gotten the position, M'lord.

TWE.

Oh, summer's day; we can now spy on the enemy!

Onyx.

Which one, M'lord?

Tis' Kana?

TWE.

Nay. Tis' but an old lover.

He used to be so lovely, but he has turned on me

Just like all the other wardens before him

Defeat, is what he'll be

After we're done with Kana, we destroy him and win.

Noble Drazoure will spy on him,

and all that he's doing.

Drazoure.

I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was

To catch them is my real test

To train them is my cause.

I will travel across the land

Searching far and wide

Each Pokemon to understand

The power that's inside.

Pandaman.

That's a lovely song of loyalty you sing

To our mighty and wise king.

TWE.

Aye. Tis' the sweetest weeb honey for me ears.

Pandaman, what art thou still doing h're?

Gather round the troops!

Pandaman.

I commend my duty to your lordship.

Pandaman exits.

Drazoure.

Are you going for another war again M'lord?

Are they one of your exes again?

TWE.

Nay; he is the one who purges our homeland, and for the honour of my weeb brethren and my loyal subjects

We shall take down the enemy.

Is that noble Defalt down yonder?

Enter Defalt.

Defalt.

M'lord, I grow restless

My blade thirsts for flesh

My arrow pouch is going to burst

I want bodies to mash

TWE.

Well then, perfect timing

We're going to war.

To destroy Kanal the destroyer.

Defalt.

That's just perfect.

Enter Zoey.

Zoey.

M'lord, a peasant wants to see thee.

TWE.

Bring him in.

Enter Dradaus.

Dradaus.

I'm a kawaii anime girl with big

PG-13

!

Zoey.

Thou shall not speaketh of my lord like that!

TWE.

Lower down your weapons.

Tis' but a fitting salutation.

What brings you here, young weeaboo?

Dradaus.

I wanna join your army.

TWE.

This will do nicely.

Zoey, bring him to the camp to make an application here: https://www.hearthigen.com/threads/twes-army-applications-thread.4667/

Zoey.

But M'lord, the link won't work if we get attacked by Kana again.

TWE.

We just have to fight it out then.

Let's not keep our men waiting shall we?

To the battlefield we go!

Exeunt all.

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