Heliuxen

Greedy Dragon

7 posts in this topic

@ForgetfulCat

Greedy Dragon

A Screenplay by Heliuxen

INTERIOR. HEARTHIGEN EMBASSY HEADQUARTERS - AFTERNOON

Intelligent swordsman MASTER HELIUXEN AZION is arguing with brave author MS HEATHER JOLIE. HELIUXEN tries to hug HEATHER but she shakes him off.

HELIUXEN

Please Heather, don't leave me.

HEATHER

I'm sorry Heliuxen, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.

HELIUXEN

I am such a person!

HEATHER frowns.

HEATHER

I'm sorry, Heliuxen. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

HEATHER leaves.

HELIUXEN sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, virtuous cat PEASANT FORGETFULCAT ZEKION barges in looking flustered.

HELIUXEN

Goodness, ForgetfulCat! Is everything okay?

FORGETFULCAT

I'm afraid not.

HELIUXEN

What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

FORGETFULCAT

It's ... a dragon ... I saw an evil dragon exterminate a bunch of kittens!

HELIUXEN

Defenseless kittens?

FORGETFULCAT

Yes, defenseless kittens!

HELIUXEN

Bloomin' heck, ForgetfulCat! We've got to do something.

FORGETFULCAT

I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

HELIUXEN

You can start by telling me where this happened.

FORGETFULCAT

I was...

FORGETFULCAT fans himself and begins to wheeze.

HELIUXEN

Focus ForgetfulCat, focus! Where did it happen?

FORGETFULCAT

Hearthigen Embassy Prison! That's right - Hearthigen Embassy Prison!

HELIUXEN springs up and begins to run.

EXTERIOR. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

HELIUXEN rushes along the street, followed by FORGETFULCAT. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

INTERIOR. HEARTHIGEN EMBASSY PRISON - SHORTLY AFTER

RAYMOND FISH a greedy dragon terrorises two kittens.

HELIUXEN, closely followed by FORGETFULCAT, rushes towards RAYMOND, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

FORGETFULCAT

What is is? What's the matter?

HELIUXEN

That's not just any old dragon, that's Raymond Fish!

FORGETFULCAT

Who's Raymond Fish?

HELIUXEN

Who's Raymond Fish? Who's Raymond Fish? Only the most greedy dragon in the universe!

FORGETFULCAT

Blinkin' knickers, Heliuxen! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most greedy dragon in the universe!

HELIUXEN

You can say that again.

FORGETFULCAT

Blinkin' knickers, Heliuxen! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most greedy dragon in the universe!

HELIUXEN

I'm going to need swords, lots of swords.

Raymond turns and sees Heliuxen and ForgetfulCat. He grins an evil grin.

RAYMOND

Heliuxen Azion, we meet again.

FORGETFULCAT

You've met?

HELIUXEN

Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

EXTERIOR. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young HELIUXEN is sitting in a park listening to some rap music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees RAYMOND. He takes off his headphones.

RAYMOND

Would you like some chocolate?

HELIUXEN's eyes light up, but then he studies RAYMOND more closely, and looks uneasy.

HELIUXEN

I don't know, you look kind of greedy.

RAYMOND

Me? No. I'm not greedy. I'm the least greedy dragon in the world.

HELIUXEN

Wait, you're a dragon?

HELIUXEN runs away, screaming.

INTERIOR. HEARTHIGEN EMBASSY PRISON - PRESENT DAY

RAYMOND

You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

FORGETFULCAT

(To HELIUXEN) You ran away?

HELIUXEN

(To FORGETFULCAT) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

HELIUXEN turns to RAYMOND.

HELIUXEN

I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

HELIUXEN runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

HELIUXEN

I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with swords.

RAYMOND

I'm not scared of you.

HELIUXEN

You should be.

INTERIOR. HEARTHIGEN EMBASSY TRAITOR LAND - LATER THAT DAY

HELIUXEN and FORGETFULCAT walk around searching for something.

HELIUXEN

I feel sure I left my swords somewhere around here.

FORGETFULCAT

Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly swords.

HELIUXEN

You know nothing ForgetfulCat Zekion.

FORGETFULCAT

We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

Suddenly, RAYMOND appears, holding a pair of swords.

RAYMOND

Looking for something?

FORGETFULCAT

Crikey, Heliuxen, he's got your swords.

HELIUXEN

Tell me something I don't already know!

FORGETFULCAT

The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

HELIUXEN

I know that already!

FORGETFULCAT

I still wear snuggies.

RAYMOND

(appalled) Dude!

While RAYMOND is looking at FORGETFULCAT with disgust, HELIUXEN lunges forward and grabs his deadly swords. He wields them, triumphantly.

HELIUXEN

Prepare to die, you greedy carrot!

RAYMOND

No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of kittens!

HEATHER enters, unseen by any of the others.

HELIUXEN

I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those kittens were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Heliuxen Azion defender of innocent kittens.

RAYMOND

Don't hurt me! Please!

HELIUXEN

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these swords on you right away!

RAYMOND

Because Heliuxen, I am your father.

HELIUXEN looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

HELIUXEN

No you're not!

RAYMOND

Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

RAYMOND tries to grab the swords but HELIUXEN dodges out of the way.

HELIUXEN

Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, RAYMOND slumps to the ground.

FORGETFULCAT

Did he just faint?

HELIUXEN

I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly swords.

HELIUXEN crouches over RAYMOND's body.

FORGETFULCAT

Be careful, Heliuxen. It could be a trick.

HELIUXEN

No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Raymond Fish is dead!

HELIUXEN

What?

HELIUXEN

Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

FORGETFULCAT claps his hands.

FORGETFULCAT

So your swords did save the day, after all.

HEATHER steps forward.

HEATHER

Is it true? Did you kill the greedy dragon?

HELIUXEN

Heather how long have you been...?

HEATHER puts her arm around HELIUXEN.

HEATHER

Long enough.

HELIUXEN

Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Raymond Fish.

HEATHER

Then the kittens are safe?

HELIUXEN

It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable kittens enter, looking relived.

HEATHER

You are their hero.

The kittens bow to HELIUXEN.

HELIUXEN

There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Raymond Fish will never exterminate kittens ever again, is enough for me.

HEATHER

You are humble as well as brave!

One of the kittens passes HELIUXEN a mystical ring

HEATHER

I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

HELIUXEN

I couldn't possibly.

Pause.

HELIUXEN

Well, if you insist.

HELIUXEN takes the ring.

HELIUXEN

Thank you.

The kittens bow their heads once more, and leave.

HELIUXEN turns to HEATHER.

HELIUXEN

Does this mean you want me back?

HEATHER

Oh, Heliuxen, of course I want you back!

HELIUXEN smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

HELIUXEN

Well you can't have me.

HEATHER

WHAT?

HELIUXEN

You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a dragon to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

HEATHER

But...

HELIUXEN

Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, ForgetfulCat.

FORGETFULCAT grins.

HEATHER

But...

FORGETFULCAT

You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

HEATHER

Heliuxen?

HELIUXEN

I'm sorry Heather, but I think you should skidaddle.

HEATHER leaves.

FORGETFULCAT turns to HELIUXEN.

FORGETFULCAT

Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?

HELIUXEN

Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly FORGETFULCAT stops.

FORGETFULCAT

When I said I still wear snuggies, you know I was just trying to distract the dragon don't you?

THE END

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.